the animal jewel

Once upon a time in Africa in a big cave was a jewel if some one stole it all the animals will die and diaper. One sunny  spring morning a thief spy wanted to steal the jewel but he did not know animals would die and diaper . He stole the jewel and got a enforced jewel and said to his friend”but where will we hide it all?”. But an old about to die lion said a thief spy stole our jewel  the police went to gaga swamp where the thief spy lived they took him to south Africa’s prison and all the animals came back to life the end.

 

by Ben , Dylan and Heath

One thought on “the animal jewel

  1. Well done on your writing Ben, Dylan and Heath.
    It isn’t easy to write a story in only 100 words but you managed very well.
    I really like some of the vocabulary you chose, like “one sunny spring morning”.
    It’s a very good story but I found it hard to understand it in a couple of places. It can help to read back over your work, or get someone else to read back over for you.
    Looking forward to reading your writing in the future.
    Keep up the good work !

    Shane, Teacher
    Dublin, Ireland
    (Team 100)

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